Episode 19: Unlocking Your Potential with Mollie Eliasof

April 1, 2021

Everyone wants to reach their fullest potential. Whether you are looking to expand on your success or you are on your way to success, a big part of the journey is getting out of your own way. 

Because that journey can be daunting, we need some help. This week’s guest, Mollie Eliasof, fills that need as a private consultant. She helps people reach their fullest potential by helping them feel more confident and more like themselves. 

Mollie is the kind of inspirational person we love to have here at CGL. Tune in to hear her story and to learn how you can unlock your own potential.

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Mollie’s personal transformation story.
  • How to find that inner sense of security that allows you to take risks.
  • How to use failure to propel you forward.
  • What resiliency means.
  • Why our societal and cultural expectations are unrealistic.
  • How to identify your gifts and desires.

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Supporting Resources:

https://cgl-llp.com/

Mollie on Instagram

 

Episode 19 Transcript:

 

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, feel, resiliency, mollie, life, love, private practice, security, important, therapy, watched, goal, helping, figured, focus, secure, ceos, inspiring, caterpillar, matters

 

00:02

I’m your host, Hannah. I’m Tom and I’m one of the founding partners of CGL. What if you could speak with top business leaders and CEOs about their professional insights and personal journeys. Each week, we share authentic discussions with business leaders, where they flesh out substantive issues while also getting deeper into their authentic stories. Our goal is to bring you conversations on the fusion of business and humanity, success and authenticity, and the challenges of balancing life and work.

 

00:34

Thank you for joining us.

 

00:36

Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of conversations with CGL.

 

00:42

Today, I

 

00:43

am very excited, because I have Mollie joining me today. And she is an incredible woman and inspiration and everything that she’s doing. And the work that she’s done is just kind of what we like to showcase here at CGL. We’re always loving to find inspiring people. And Mollie certainly is one of them. So Mollie, welcome to the show.

 

01:02

Thank you so much for having me, I am so excited to be here. We’re so happy to have you here today.

 

01:08

So I would love to chat with you a little bit more. I mean, maybe just as a start, if you can just give some background on yourself and what you’re doing for our guests. As we kick things off, I think that’d be helpful, for sure. Happy

 

01:18

So I am a private consultant for CEOs, celebrities, professional athletes, basically people who have achieved success and want to just keep being expansive. Often these moments in success can feel really exciting, and also really daunting. You don’t know what to do next, for one or two things like big leap forward outside of what we’re already known for. That’s usually when people call me when they’re in that nervous state, and they just want to feel like their best biggest self

 

01:45

bond. That’s amazing. Because I feel like in that part of the journey is helping people get out of their own way. I’m sure you kind of see that in your work and would love to learn maybe that was part of your story or your journey, you know, kind of how did you get to this point to want to inspire and help people reach their like full potential? Yeah, I

 

02:03

love this question. I think there’s a lot layered in that answer. You know, before I did felting work, I’ve been a psychotherapist for 14 years really long time. And you know, I was working with people week after week for a year sometimes who just wanted to feel better, they wanted more ease. And sometimes it was very specific, like they want less anxiety. But often it was like this discussion of how do I feel better about myself, I really love myself more feel confident about my decisions. And I watched people just grapple for so long to turn more into themselves. But it takes so long and can be so wearing, because there’s so many layers to deal with at once. And so over that process of doing that work for so long, I really felt like there’s got to be a faster, easier way for people to at least get this one piece moving forward, right, where they can feel more themselves more confident and feel like they can take action faster. And so that’s what led to the development of the consulting process. I just wanted people to just feel like themselves. I don’t know about you. But like, I don’t want to live in a boring world. I’ve got a really interesting world around me. I think that happens only when we’re all like ourselves.

 

03:06

Yeah, totally. And getting I think that guidance and support is instrumental and kind of helping people and coming up with like a process of how you do that. You know, and I’m sure you’ve come across a lot of like, incredible stories of people and like transformations. I mean, that must be really inspiring for you as like daily work.

 

03:25

I feel like that’d be amazing. It really is. I feel good, super humbled. And the word that always comes up for me is honored, right like to be raw and vulnerable to share this moment in your life through feeling just like not yourself uncomfortable, just like out of your own skin and have to like work through that, like Caterpillar process of like growing into a butterfly, you know, is it’s hard. And it’s daunting. And it’s something we don’t want to show him with people. So I just felt so honored that people allow me to witness that and then help them in that stage of watching it. And then it’s so beautiful, because then I get emails like years later, like, here’s the baby that we’ve talked about having and like, we did it like we got married, and we did it like I took that big leap with a new job. And I did it you know, and it’s just exciting to have people on. Oh, yeah,

 

04:09

it must be so fulfilling. I mean, for you personally, I’d love to learn a little bit more about kind of your journey. And what I also imagine was like a caterpillar to butterfly experience for you and kind of starting the transition and kind of the work you’re doing today as a private consultant.

 

04:26

Yeah, I mean, you know, there’s a lot of like personal and professional journeys that have happened in the way I think that I was really lucky to have two parents who were really security-focused people like they like things to be safe. They like things to be boxed in, you know, because they watched their parents really struggle with having a sense of stability. So they really keep that in the back of their minds at all times. That’s something I admire. And it allowed me to do something different, right? It allowed me to take like a lot of risks because I understood what it meant to be stable and secure. I got to like watch that. Learn that and have it integrated into like myself. And so I think a lot of my life, even when I go back to when I was a kid, right, it was like to where they threw me in a dance class. And I was like going across the floor like this business, you know, I was in fourth grade, like the school had me read a book in front of the whole elementary school. And I was like, excited by like, I always love to, like, dive past what felt comfortable to me and then see how that felt. And so, you know, I did the same thing. I went to school, I went to my undergraduate and I took classes that at first were challenging, and then up, and it was all therapy based. And it came really naturally. But I did my career really fast, like I was having a private practice at 24, I had the masters of 21, like, I was doing the thing. And I decided, like at 25, I was like, I need something different, I need to take a risk. So while I was a therapist, in a private practice, I went back to school for dance during the day at the Ailey school. And it was hard, like 20 hours class a week. And so this idea of like, continuing to catapult myself, even when I’m nervous to grow, I think was really based on my parents ability to show me what secure felt like so that I could take those risks. And I feel super lucky, because I’ve had that balance of, you know, not only having this private practice early, but then scaling it early, right. Like by 30, I had five employees, three locations in Manhattan, like, grew really fast as therapy practice, right? And then it allowed me then take this pivot again, and have this consulting business, like, those two balances, I think, have always helped me go from Caterpillar to butterfly, like, over and over and over again.

 

06:33

Yeah, amazing. And so fortunate to have that stability as an anchor. So we do a lot of discussion here, kind of on the podcast, or actually, at the firm, we do a lot of like what we call re-educating the attorneys that come and work for us. And there’s a lot of like, almost therapy light involved, you know, so a lot of attorneys come from big law firms have incredibly stressful careers. And these totally different expectations. And we do a lot of like relearning of, you know, this is how you can practice and helping them find that security. So they feel comfortable to say like in the middle of the day, like I’m going to lunch, or I’m going to my child’s game or something, that normally would be a really stressful thing. Like we spend a lot of time trying to coach that security into people. And I’m curious for people that either have like a traumatic background, or just don’t have that parental security to lean on, like, how do you guide people to find that within themselves so that they can, you know, kind of take the leap of faith in whatever it is that they’re looking to do?

 

07:33

Yeah, that’s a really great question. I mean, I think it starts with exploring where you have security in your life, right? So I think it’s really important. And I would never want to mean anything is just like, picture us in perfect. Like, there are ways in which, you know, my parents and I got along really smoothly and family and other ways that like, you know, like every adolescent is I was a little difficult, right? And I think I try and find the ways in which I have security, either through that relationship, or even what I’ve done for myself. So one of the things I like to point people to all the time is what have you accomplished that you can look at and go Okay, I’ve done that I can feel secure that I’ve done that once. So I can do it again. Right? So if you’ve had one kid before, and they’re like, no, because they can’t like cat, a cat and panic, like how do we manage to be like, you know, which is a really common movement, you have to remember, you had one baby already, and you’ve figured out for however many months or years like you have the capability to do that. And that felt and start to feel superior. I think where people start to veer off is when they go, Oh, my goodness, I didn’t have security in this one way. And all they do is put their focus on what they did not have. And then it’s a lot harder to feel secure that paired with like therapy and support really simple as that right? You need to keep going deep for sure.

 

08:46

Totally. And I love that how kind of shifting the focus because I feel like that’s one of our biggest impediments is like that focus on what we don’t have are what we think we can’t do or what the obstacles are. It’s great to be kind of aware of those things and have a realistic perspective. Sure. But the focus often kind of obsesses there, and instead focusing on like, wait, well, what can you do? or what have you done before that maybe means you could possibly do this other thing. And I’ve seen too, you know, I talk a lot about failure. And I’ve failed a lot and had a lot of failures. But with each one there comes this confidence of like, I guess I’ll just try it again, I failed first thing that can happen, you failing, you get back up and do it again. You know, so I think that that’s such powerful work that you do with people and helping them get there and kind of reshift that perspective. Yeah, even remembering that like in that failure, you’ve

 

09:36

already tried one. So all you have to do is go Okay, like where did it veer off? Right? And what can I do differently or try differently to see if it doesn’t do the same thing again, and it’s not about winning or losing or failing or succeeding? It’s really about just trying.

 

09:50

That’s it. Yeah, that’s history has been really crazy and difficult for so many people. And I mean, do you have kind of any guidance or advice for people as they’re Going into, you know, this second kind of year in this very unsettling time, lots of people, either their work situation has changed. And they’re trying to figure out their next move, like kind of how are you counseling people through that next transition.

 

10:14

That’s the word that keeps coming up for me. And I think it’s sometimes rowing people the wrong way. But I think it’s really important to highlight based on just what we said, is resiliency, right? No matter what’s gone astray, or awry in last year, whether you like God forbid, lost someone, or lost your job, or have had to cut things down tremendously at home, you’ve figured out how to manage the time period so far in the last year, if you’re still with us, then you’ve figured out how to manage all the unknowns. And life is full of unknowns. And hopefully, this is one of the most dramatic, horrific moments in our time for another long period of time for another chapter. And if you can manage the right now, even if it doesn’t look pretty or shiny, then you’ve found resiliency. And that’s a skill that you can use for ever over and over again, as things pop up that scare you that are nerve-racking. And I just think it’s so helpful for people to focus on what they have done, rather than look at what is not what it used to be.

 

11:13

Oh, and that reminder to people like that kind of focusing on I’ve done this, and I’m here, there’s a quote, it’s like, I’ve made it here, thus, I’ll make it there. I’ve thought of that so many times, and like stressful situations or traumatic situations of you’ve made it this far. You know, you can get through whatever comes your way, and just kind of taking it each day at a time that resiliency is so incredibly important.

 

11:36

Yep. And it can show up in the smallest ways. You know, I think people think I’m silly when I say this, if you brushed your teeth this morning, and that’s all you did, like, good job, you figured out how to make it through the last few hours and did one thing for yourself. And if you forgot to brush your teeth, and you took a shower, like good job, you know, like, how do we just start to notice the small things we have accomplished? You know, if we’re able to really tap into that now, I think it just gets so much richer in the future, right? Because then you can start rewarding yourself for those steps now, as well as when more positive things are happening for you, and yours in the months to come.

 

12:08

Absolutely. And it’s a good reminder, too, because we live in this time where one social media, it’s like always broadcasts like everything that people are doing, you know, someone’s like, I woke up, I read a book, I wrote a novel, I’ve worked out twice, you know, I did all these projects with my kids. And now I’m you know, starting seven business development meetings, like, we live in this world where you’re kind of like whether it’s true or not, you’re just infiltrated with that information. And so it kind of puts this, I think, completely unrealistic pressure on people, but also like distracted pressure, you know, away from the way we live, we talk about this a lot with like, how to work and what I believe work is incredibly important. I love to work, I also love to do a lot of other things. And my life is not just made up of work. And you know, it’s kind of like, that’s what so many different pieces of our life, this intense focus, you know, and I’m sure you see that with kind of people that you speak with this pressure they feel of supposed to be supermom, and super CEO have some incredible creative hobby that I excel at, like how do you know it’s completely unrealistic?

 

13:11

Absolutely. It’s It’s so unrealistic. And I really think there’s going to be a trend and the whole opposite direction where we’re going to restart rewarding one another for not being present. I do think that that could eventually really happen. And until then, you know, I think it’s just noticing that you’re human. I think that’s really the important thing to remember right? When I have people come in and see me and they’re super accomplished, right? They just signed their biggest deal ever. And they’re fit. And they’re feeling good about that. And they’re just like, on top of those two things. But family life is just a ride. It’s just so important to remember that you’re a person, right? Like nobody can do everything to whatever perfect looks like you just have to be and ignore being that matters. And that’s important to celebrate, right? And so if you’re not feeling satisfied with your relationships at home, the question becomes just like in your other areas, your spheres, you know, how do you tweak it just a little? How do you go up just a little differently at home? Is it just looking at someone when they’re talking to you, instead of looking at the phone, you just make the eye contact for small shifts to help us feel more satisfied, and the people around us also feel more satisfied?

 

14:18

Totally. And that’s what I think has been so powerful even about this last year, as you know, I’m talking with so many different people. Now the conversations with folks that I’m having are like, yeah, it was really hard to do everything. So I stopped trying to do everything. And it’s actually great. I’m gonna go into these future years and not try to do so much. Yes, awesome, you know, great approach and happier and you’re the few things that you do, you know, you’ll do a little bit more presently and intentionally because you’re not spread so thin.

 

14:48

Yeah, and I think I think that’s a beautiful thing you’ve done with Cpl. You know, I think being able to not only carry that idea in our personal life, but then be able to share that concept with the people around us, right, even if you don’t run CGS You know, like, if you have friends, you just take the pressure off of the fact that when you text me, I need to call you right away or text you right away. Like, we can just say, I love you, we’re connected. When I have the ability in the space I’m coming, when you have the ability and space you’re coming, and we’ll let each other know like, Hey, this is urgent, that reduced pressure just allows everyone to stay connected and have what they need, but also take a huge step back from performing

 

15:24

totally,

 

15:25

it’s so funny too, because there’s often times like, we have these expectations that we assume somebody else has. And oftentimes, it’s our own narrative, you know, like, even in that example of like, Oh, she’s gonna expect me to text her back right away your friend, she might be like, I don’t care, you text me back whenever you have time. But that’s this like narrative that we’ve been running. I think that in the work you’re doing and helping people get really conscious about the place they’re living from, and you know, a lot of the different voices of like, who’s holding the mic right now, you know, I think of that a lot. Like who’s holding the mic is one that it’s like, oh, you should be doing this, this and this, and trying to help consciously guide us to living from just a more intentional place for ourselves as I felt like I can, like heal the world.

 

16:11

I mean, that’s the goal, right? I don’t know about you, but like, I only want to spend time in my life doing good. And even that word feels like not quite even the extent of which I want to be helpful. Like, I just want this world, like I said, to be more interesting. And I think that happens when we all share our gifts, right. And I think that one of the things that I can help and support with is just like half perspective, right to step back and be able to be reflective and to teach people how to do that allows them to have the skill to do that. Whenever right to think about the word should how do we just like remove that word? Well, if that’s a concept, you learn from working with me, that’s something you carry with you forever after you talk to me. So you know, that’s my goal is that people can really like shift the way they’re thinking about life so they can have more of what they want no one else but their own desires. I love it. I love it.

 

16:58

Can you tell me just a little bit more about that, and your vision and kind of goals for making an impact? Yeah,

 

17:05

I mean, my desire, and my goal is for every person in this world to understand that their voice matters, their skills are very important to share. And it’s so essential in order to feel fulfilled, which is something they have control of, and have the ability to, you know, change and shift from the reins in their own hands is only something they have to pull from themselves, all I can do is show up more as them to be able to receive more of what they want. And I know that sounds super simplistic, but I really believe that so I want people to realize their own gifts and be able to share that with more people. And I literally want every person in the world to hear that and understand that so that they can then do that. So my goals really lofty and ambitious, but that’s who I am. I really enjoy the gig as expansively as possible.

 

17:50

I love it. And I can like feel your passion like radiating through. It’s very apparent, but that is something that drives you and it’s so so powerful. So I love that.

 

18:00

So that is unfortunately all we have time for for this episode. But before we wrap things up, is there anything else that you would love to share about anything with our audience, for sure,

 

18:11

remember that your voice matters, your impact matters, even if it feels small, even if you’re confused about how to get started show up as yourself and you will receive more and I’d love to stay in touch. So please feel free to reach out to me You can find me on Instagram @morewithmollie M-O-L-L-I-E, I love to hear from you and stay connected.

 

18:29

Yes. And just a plug for Mollie. She has an amazing podcast. It’s called more from Mollie the podcast where she interviews spectacular people and their journeys. So if you’re feeling as inspired as I am right now should you should check out her podcast because I feel like it’s just full of more inspiring goodness. So Mollie, thank you so much for taking the time with me today. And I look forward to what’s to come.

 

18:52

Thank you so much.

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